Moments

It's so strange how moments are so different. One minute so joyous the next so different. So different. I've been struggling with the happy moments lately. Life is blessed with so many beautiful moments yet mine seemed fringed with sadness and worry.  Worry of losing another angel, worry of not conceiving another angel. Worry of losing me again. I'm trying hard. So hard. Maybe too hard. The pain beats me down sometimes, I struggle not to cry, not to feel envy and to keep that smile going. I can stay true to my promise to Harry that I will try to be happy. Sometimes trying isn't enough.  I miss all my lost angels with such pain that every bone in my body aches. 

I want to bottle my baby who is now a 'big boy' by his own admission but certainly not mine, although I adore to see the person that he is becoming.  George went on his first pony ride yesterday and I was mildly devastated that he wanted to go off on his own and not with his mummy by his side.  I'd have lost the bet on that one.

My very handsome boys

The two people that can always always put a smile on my face xxx

My Sanctuary!

All is going and growing well on the allotment and I just love being up there.  It feels like home up there and just where I'm meant to be right now. A far stretch from being in the office :-)  My mind stays on track with the positive and the time just flies. The perfect medicine for me right now.

Can't wait to start picking these soon - so long that Mr G gets the netting done before the birds pinch them!

Got a smidge carried away with the tomatoe seeds!

Very proud of my self made netting for Brassica bed :-)

Remember these?!

Yumalicious

Little bit of heaven on earth

Springtime smiling ...

Some days things don't go your way.  But there is always something to smile about. Take stock, breath deeply and find laughter.  Look for today's spring beauty as well as the future potential of the blossom. Your outlook will always be your outcome.

Congrats to Kate & William !

A few tears were shed in our house with my big sister and mum in law watching this beautiful, uniting and moving wedding.  We went to a strreet party and George dressed as Sir George, completed by self made crown and mixed up with his 'wobblers' or boppers as I've known them (nutty iphone pic earlier in week with said boppers (and my patriotic hairband!!)  here!):

We had red (raspberry) white (icing sugar) and blue (blueberry) cakes and fun amongst the blubbing.  How joyful to feel part of something so special and I am gutted I didn't take pictures to help George remember the day and his part of history. Lesson learnt, camera will always be packed going forward.

Some of the pics that cause that lump in the throat to re-swell (and for my mum in law to break down into sobs)..

Such a stunning bride and brings backs memories of our special day. One of my fave pics is of me with my veil over my face before walking in for the service.  I love any excuse to remember the excitement and overwhelming joy of our own wedding day. 

Welcome to the world Sam Shuff

My beautiful twin sister gave birth to gorgeous Sam Shuff on Tuesday 19th April. 9lb 6oz of scrumptiousness. Very very proud of the new parents and can't wait to see Sam grow up and all the wonders of babies and children.

Perfection

Mummy love - nothing in this world quite like it.

... Apart from daddy love! How proud?!

And a squidge of Auntie love here, so edible :-)

Easter fun :-)

Easter weekends, Royal wedding, babies and spring time = blisstime!  But no excuses for serious lack of piccies :-(

Easter Egg hunting with George's big cousins and fun in the oh so lovely April sun....

I just love days in the garden, the children are happy, as were me and my sis in law with our white wine spritzer (ss) watching the children delight in happy times.